If I Had

Life.. by Marshall Mathers

What is life?

Life is like a big obstacle

put in front of your optical to slow you down

And everytime you think you gotten past it

it's gonna come back around and tackle you to the damn ground

What are friends?

Friends are people that you think are your friends

But they really your enemies, with secret indentities

and disguises, to hide they true colors

So just when you think you close enough to be brothers

they wanna come back and cut your throat when you ain't lookin

What is money?

Money is what makes a man act funny

Money is the root of all evil

Money'll make them same friends come back around

swearing that they was always down

What is life?

I'm tired of life

I'm tired of backstabbing ass snakes with friendly grins

I'm tired of committing so many sins

Tired of always giving in when this bottle of Henny wins

Tired of never having any ends

Tired of having skinny friends hooked on crack and mini-thins

I'm tired of this DJ playing YOUR shit when he spins

Tired of not having a deal

Tired of having to deal with the bullshit without grabbing the steel

Tired of drowning in my sorrow

Tired of having to borrow a dollar for gas to start my Monte Carlo

I'm tired of motherfuckers spraying shit and dartin off

I'm tired of jobs startin off at five fifty an hour

Then this boss wonders why I'm smartin off

I'm tired of being fired everytime I fart and cough

Tired of having to work as a gas station clerk

for this jerk breathing down my neck driving me bezerk

I'm tired of using plastic silverware

Tired of working in Builders Square

Tired of not being a millionaire

But if I had a million dollars

I'd buy a damn brewery, and turn the planet into alcoholics

If I had a magic wand, I'd make the world suck my dick

without a condom on, while I'm on the john

If I had a million bucks

it wouldn't be enough, because I'd still be out

robbing armored trucks

If I had one wish

I would ask for a big enough ass for the whole world to kiss

I'm tired of being white trash, broke and always poor

Tired of taking pop bottles back to the party store

I'm tired of not having a phone

Tired of not having a home to have one in if I did have one on

Tired of not driving a BM

Tired of not working at GM, tired of wanting to be him

Tired of not sleeping without a Tylenol PM

Tired of not performing in a packed coliseum

Tired of not being on tour

Tired of fucking the same blonde whore after work

in the back of a Contour

I'm tired of faking knots with a stack of ones

Having a lack of funds and resorting back to guns

Tired of being stared at

I'm tired of wearing the same damn Nike Air hat

Tired of stepping in clubs wearing the same pair of Lugz

Tired of people saying they're tired of hearing me rap about drugs

Tired of other rappers who ain't bringin half the skill as me

saying they wasn't feeling me when nobody's as ill as me

I'm tired of radio stations telling fibs

Tired of J-L-B saying "Where Hip-Hop Lives"

But if I had a million dollars

I'd buy a damn brewery, and turn the planet into alcoholics

If I had a magic wand, I'd make the world suck my dick

without a condom on, while I'm on the john

If I had a million bucks

it wouldn't be enough, because I'd still be out

robbing armored trucks

If I had one wish

I would ask for a big enough ass for the whole world to kiss

You know what I'm saying?

I'm tired of all of this bullshit

Telling me to be positive

How'm I 'sposed to be positive when I don't see shit positive?

Know what I'm sayin?

I rap about shit around me, shit I see

Know what I'm sayin?  Right now I'm tired of everything

Tired of all this player hating that's going on in my own city

Can't get no airplay, you know what I'm sayin?

But ey, it's cool though, you know what I'm sayin?

Just fed up

That's my word